Tuesday, May 10, 2011

good news...

I didn't cut. It was tough though. I didn't call my therapist right away. I was too scared. I just tried distracting myself. I signed on to facebook and my friend was on so I talked to her. She wasn't doing well either. She told me she was thinking about signing herself back into the hospital. Things really aren't going well for her. :( I just want her to feel better. I hate her feeling like this because I was there and I know how dark of a place that is. I'm just really worried about her. Anyways, I was listening to music and decided to get up and dance for a song. That cheered me up. :) Then we talked a little more before she got a call back from her therapist. Then I was all by my lonesome. The urge came back. I tried doing a sudoku but the urge wasn't fading. So then I called my therapist. You want to know what she said? "Distract yourself." It's like "NO SHIT!! What the fuck do you think I've been doing for the past hour??" She told me to watch a movie. I didn't like my movie selection so I watched youtube videos. I rediscovered Kendal Glover. She's an amazing 11 (maybe 12) year old dancer. She has some serious talent. Then my grandma came home and we went and got ice cream. Now I'm typing this. 0.o
Food was too much. At least 2000 calories. I had a mini binge. :(
School was okay. I froze my butt off in the biology lab. It felt nice walking outside to my next class. I took my math class. Doubting how I did. Maybe a B if I'm lucky. Stupid formulas.
Not much else going on.
I'm tired as hell. I'm going to bed.
Still can't see blogs. >.<

Positives:
-The house is a bit cooler than yesterday.
-I didn't cut.
-I finished reading my chapter for my final tomorrow. (However, I didn't look at the powerpoint. 0.o)

7 words from my listeners:

Tiffany Tilly said...

I'm so happy you didn't cut, yay you!!! I know how it hard it must have been , i was feeling the same way today and yesterday.

AlwaysStriving said...

I am SO proud of you for not cutting!!!! *dances a happy jive* that is such a harrrd urge to resist and you did it! You are such a beautiful, strong little fighter! I really admire you and I hope to someday be as strong and courageous as you are. Thank you so much for not giving up on me and for caring about me and being there for me. Words cannot express how much that means to me. I feel like I know you, you're like a sister to me, and I'm so thankful that we can help each other out through this difficult time. I love you and I'm so proud of you hon! Keep fighting! <3

Elle Marie said...

:)

SilentNightmare said...

Glad you didn't Cut

GraceyJ said...

YAY! well done =] thats awesome that you didnt cut
xx

S. said...

I think you did great. Lovely to hear.

Love
/S / http:// mydarlingsolitude.blogspot.com

LilyZara said...

Well done for not cutting! :D

Sorry things are so rough for your friend, and that's nice that you're there for her, but try to not feel bad if you do that you can't help her as much as you'd like. I know you didn't say anything about that, so I'm taking a shot here but I feel so guilty constantly that I can't help people as much as they need it, and it's a horrible to feel that powerless - so if you feel like that then try to not - it's not your fault and you have a lot on right now.
If you don't feel bad or guilty then just ignore that ^ :] I just thought it was worth a shot, sorry :[

Take care sweetie, xxxxx

Post a Comment