tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.comments2023-06-13T04:35:36.536-05:00Thoughts of a MONSTERunbeautifulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04302004966927334786noreply@blogger.comBlogger966125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-28008720714818180612015-02-16T18:13:12.392-06:002015-02-16T18:13:12.392-06:00I am sorry for all of the typos. I have bad contro...I am sorry for all of the typos. I have bad control of my hands becauae of a muscle disorder and I posted in haste without checking for typos (when my hands shook)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13534446041049456199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-87041180622865492622015-02-16T18:07:14.705-06:002015-02-16T18:07:14.705-06:00Hi you may not remember me but I beli e we met on ...Hi you may not remember me but I beli e we met on a site deticated to eating disorder I forgot the sit name and I am desperately trying to find it. All I can recall is it had a forum and I belive some of the discussion boards were titled recipes, post pictures, exercise/fitness, cutting, recovery. It also had a live chat room and the ability to send private messages to users my username was minimimis (I think). I would be so grateful if you helped me find it. My memory has gone to shit because of extensive heath problems. I apoligize that this post is about my needs when you are going through so much trouble and I hope we can reconect. My old blog was titled mia maxima culpa and you posted on it the past? Unforcantly I forgot the password to that blog. Everyone who knew about the blog was so eone who new me on the website i am trying to find. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13534446041049456199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-85680730585655680682013-08-14T23:38:05.600-05:002013-08-14T23:38:05.600-05:00Hey again Amber. It's been a few months over a...Hey again Amber. It's been a few months over a year since I posted that comment. I'm sorry I haven't heard from you but it might be for the best. I really hope you're doing okay, it's been 7 months since you last posted but maybe you've gotten better. Every day now is a bit more of a struggle and bad days are more frequent now but I've realized that sometimes you have to work more for recovery than you might have worked in the past. It isn't a concrete permanent thing unless you make it one. My last comment sounded sort of condescending in hindsight and I want to apologize and just reaffirm that if you ever need anything I'm still here. spanhum@gmail.comSimone B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09292445695882612189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-15179064587797705352012-08-18T07:43:59.326-05:002012-08-18T07:43:59.326-05:00You have been through so much! I am proud of you f...You have been through so much! I am proud of you for continuing to fight and for surviving because you are worth it. We need you here on this earth.<br /><br />Don't be scared about the tatoo. Yeah, they hurt a little bit but it's awesome to have artwork on your skin. : )I remember when I got my first one people saying,"What are they gonna look like when you get old? Eww." And I'm like, "They're gonna look like old tattoos, and I'm going to be a rockin'ass grandma with stories to tell." That'll shut up the naysayers. : )<br /><br />Post pics!!Lockevenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11891029054478291979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-1635515400430555842012-06-26T07:04:40.687-05:002012-06-26T07:04:40.687-05:00Aw that is so excellent Amber, I am so proud of yo...Aw that is so excellent Amber, I am so proud of you, <br />We need a catch up<br />Lots of love, <br />xxscared bloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14100641759063098581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-63523977970786473512012-06-25T11:06:44.592-05:002012-06-25T11:06:44.592-05:00Hey, big big BIG well done on making a year! :D th...Hey, big big BIG well done on making a year! :D that's amazing!!!<br /><br />I hope the day wasn't too stressful with moving and such<br /><br />Take care, xxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-81370623800373282232012-06-13T22:53:32.152-05:002012-06-13T22:53:32.152-05:00Oh, Amber :( it makes me so sad to here that you f...Oh, Amber :( it makes me so sad to here that you feel this way. I was looking at your blog the other day and I found your post about me going to inpatient, I never went. I had family therapy for 6 months and decided not to take my medicine. My parents took my phone and disabled texting. I couldn't access PT. I eventually had to take my medicine. And you know what happened? I got better. I still have bad days, but those are far and few inbetween. Have you ever tried to disconnect yourself from the community? I wanted to email you but I couldn't find you email address. You can always email me at spanhum@gmail.comSimone B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09292445695882612189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-56723937146215733142012-05-07T16:08:35.350-05:002012-05-07T16:08:35.350-05:00<3 <3 <3
:'(<3 <3 <3<br />:'(scared bloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14100641759063098581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-51205003844962238692012-05-06T21:47:26.172-05:002012-05-06T21:47:26.172-05:00<3 <3<3 <3Nikkihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08492323859921155960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-53312857810513449612012-04-13T17:43:14.487-05:002012-04-13T17:43:14.487-05:00Good, always good,
Love u lots,
xxGood, always good, <br />Love u lots, <br />xxscared bloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14100641759063098581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-76679086907927488932012-03-23T07:24:30.061-05:002012-03-23T07:24:30.061-05:00Love isn't exactly what it's cracked up to...Love isn't exactly what it's cracked up to be. It's great at first, don't get me wrong, but then it goes a bit down hill. Then, you have to work at things and you're happy with them less often etc. <br /><br />But, someone will love you, and you'll love them back.Maybe they're closer than you think :)heiscertainlyworthithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04139109026839059828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-4965043238357791982012-02-28T18:00:28.545-06:002012-02-28T18:00:28.545-06:00Hello, fellow lesbian. I've read your past ent...Hello, fellow lesbian. I've read your past entries and I knoow how much it sucks to be where you are.<br />I've been single for 6 years and I'm sick of it.<br />The last girl I dated claimed she was gay....she was bi, and married, with a kid. She just wanted to use me as a toy. And she "feels hurt" about me avoiding her. Whatever.<br /><br />It took my Mom 2 years to accept me (I realized back in 2002) and sometimes I wonder if she still has issues. Seems she thinks I'm gay because I had abusive dad & stepdad. Well it's better than blaming me. I'm still not sure daddie dearest knows, but I don't much care about him. If not for my half-siblings, i'd ignore daddie's existence entirely.<br /><br />About a year ago the ELCA finally voted to accept gay people, they even dropped the requirement that gay pastors be celibate. But some "churches" didn't like this, including the "church" that baptized me. So the "church" that baptized me actually took a vote and made it agaisnt the church constitution to call a gay pastor or perform union ceremonies.<br />So I know how deep the antigay sentiment runs.<br /><br />So my best friend (who is also ex-boyfriend) found me a real church. He found an ELCA church that was also an Reconciling in Christ church, they are totally gay-friendly and follow Jesus in reaching out to the outcasts. <br />There are gay-affirming churches. And finding one makes a big difference.<br />You are not evil.<br />You are not alone.<br />XoxoxoHonor Regzighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07265002510802516431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-16802081034201522432012-02-28T13:22:30.606-06:002012-02-28T13:22:30.606-06:00Sweets, you talk like it'll never happen. As t...Sweets, you talk like it'll never happen. As though being a lesbian means you'll never find love? I might be well off the mark but it seems as though that's what you believe? Because that is in no way true! You can (and will!) find love. <br /><br />It's painful now. <br /><br />But you will find someone who loves you the way you damn well deserve!!!xxxLissy.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16170561254023906193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-41106494877415698532012-02-24T13:39:36.248-06:002012-02-24T13:39:36.248-06:00Well done, I'm extremely happy for your streng...Well done, I'm extremely happy for your strength xheiscertainlyworthithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04139109026839059828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-80642693759036289852012-02-22T03:35:51.903-06:002012-02-22T03:35:51.903-06:00Maybe not to the same extent, but I know how you f...Maybe not to the same extent, but I know how you feel. (I've given up on trying to figure out my sexuality but for now I'm just not bothered by anyone!) when I was thirteen or so I realised I might not be straight and got into a complete state and started cutting. I don't tell many people that that's the reason I started, but it is. <br /><br />It's a scary feeling and I remember hating it, not because of other people but because of myself. <br /><br />I think as much as you feel it's an issue with yourself, the people you're around, their opinions are inevitably having an affect on how you feel about this. <br /><br />I also think that in what I think of as "grown up life"- so the world of employment etc rather than college, that people as a whole are much more accepting of differences. Also you may well be underestimating some people like friends of yours! <br /><br />The way your family are being is awful!! Like really really shocking from what you've said!<br /><br />Is there any way you can have a family therapy session to discuss it?<br /><br />I genuinely think realising your sexuality is really important and a positive step even if you feel like shit for it now :(<br /><br />Take care xxxLissy.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16170561254023906193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-80574462142239724742012-02-09T09:26:51.085-06:002012-02-09T09:26:51.085-06:00Oh sweetie there is nothing wrong with you. If you...Oh sweetie there is nothing wrong with you. If your are gay that's okay. The heart wants to do what the heart wants to do. It would be worse and unfair if you and a guy got serious then had a kid and then think about how miserable you would be. My brother is gay and I also have a gay aunt. I can tell you anything but it's up to you to change your view about yourself. You are not a Monster and Demons are not taking control of you. Normal is bullsh**. Trust me I know. I hope you read this soon. I don't know how old you are but you will be fine. You love women. Please don't overdose again. Somewhere out there there is someone out there for you. If you do that then you will never meet her and she will never meet you. I don't know if you are religious but I believe God doesn't make mistakes he created you the way you are and loves you just the same. This will pass and things will get better. Don't hide who you are celebrate the uniqueness that is you. I wish you much love and am here if you want to talk.Felihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05527475211112516608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-23914092438004969022012-01-26T00:25:18.214-06:002012-01-26T00:25:18.214-06:00I am proud of you, and I hope one day you can be p...I am proud of you, and I hope one day you can be proud of yourself too.<br /><br />Remember: God is Love. Is He only "some" kinds of love? Is there a kind of love that is "less good"?<br /><br />If you want to talk about homosexuality and the bible and all that, please feel free to email me. I'm not straight, and I grew up in the church, so I've been through it all.Undeniedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12339817653057438962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-68043821091829306992011-10-02T17:31:52.543-05:002011-10-02T17:31:52.543-05:00The voices are too strong,
I try not to post what...The voices are too strong, <br />I try not to post what they say in my head as that just reminds other suffers of the voices that they/we try so hard to (sometimes fight) <br />Im sorry u hear them too <br /><br /><br />Im also scared :'(<br />xxscared bloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14100641759063098581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-91389551791862545902011-10-02T11:51:23.240-05:002011-10-02T11:51:23.240-05:00Oh my God! I thought I was schizophrenic when I fi...Oh my God! I thought I was schizophrenic when I first heard those voices.. But the trick is to try and blot them out as much as possible when you're recovering - which is what you should be focusing on, to return to your happier self. <br /><br />You are beautiful. And, you won't gain very much at all if you increase your food intake gradually, if that helps! I gained about 3kg when I gradually increased my intake. I wasn't happy about it, but it could have been worse. <br /><br /><br />It really sucks about your parents not trusting you to be on your own, but they're doing that because they love you. They will trust you soon enough.<br /><br />:) xxheiscertainlyworthithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04139109026839059828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-61877823832698269542011-10-01T09:26:56.371-05:002011-10-01T09:26:56.371-05:00In the long run, this will make you a happier and ...In the long run, this will make you a happier and stronger person, I'm sure of it. <br /><br />I think you made the right decision, and you can always commence your schooling afterwards. Best of luck to you xxheiscertainlyworthithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04139109026839059828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-50962316100552575372011-10-01T03:14:55.671-05:002011-10-01T03:14:55.671-05:00So glad uv updated
Love u always and with you all...So glad uv updated<br /><br />Love u always and with you all the way<br />itll be ok sweet<br />You are strong and beautiful <br />Lots of love <br />Aisling, <br />xxXXxxscared bloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14100641759063098581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-75098160796822588242011-09-30T16:42:09.071-05:002011-09-30T16:42:09.071-05:00Its a tough choice to make but I think that you ma...Its a tough choice to make but I think that you made the right choice *hugs*. I'm proud of you for taking the necessary steps as hard as they was and as scared as you were.SilentNightmarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04149487775782837606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-22645694184787982272011-09-30T09:39:10.755-05:002011-09-30T09:39:10.755-05:00That would be a tough choice. I've been inpat...That would be a tough choice. I've been inpatient twice and one of the treatment centers I absolutely hated and the other one I liked. I've never done iop though. Hopefully you'll be happy with your choice once you make it.keshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01231891738294951571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-59048041455808832782011-09-26T07:32:18.685-05:002011-09-26T07:32:18.685-05:00You ok hun?You ok hun?SilentNightmarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04149487775782837606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1844283020684002521.post-45873064611224056172011-09-22T12:34:08.824-05:002011-09-22T12:34:08.824-05:00I hope you gain enough confidence to be in front o...I hope you gain enough confidence to be in front of people soon. xxheiscertainlyworthithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04139109026839059828noreply@blogger.com