Wednesday, May 18, 2011

*gulp*

leaving for therapy in an hour.
nervous, so nervous.
what if she doesn't believe me?
how can she after all i've told her?
she'll finally believe i'm a slut.
i don't want her to think i'm a slut.
that's what you are whore.
she should believe it.
i feel like cutting.
fuck i want to cut.
cutting before therapy is bad.
is starving myself not enough punishment?
no fat slut.
it'll never be enough.
you'll never be enough.
die die die die die.
i'm scared.
i don't want to tell her.
have to tell her.
can't tell her.
will tell her?
fuck im confused.

4 words from my listeners:

Tiffany Tilly said...

Good Luck with therapy, it should be alright and i know you'll be reading this when you get back so i hope it wasn't too bad. I'm proud of you for going and trying to get help, that's really good. She's not going to judge you and hopefully talking to her will help with your confusion, she just wants to help like everyone else. Please don't cut and stay safe and stay strong, you can over come these feelings and find the light. <3 *Big hugs* Good luck once again.

LilyZara said...

I don't know what you're contemplating telling her, but I do know that she'll believe you. She speaks to many other patients in the same situation as you, or with worst stuff, or better stuff, and she listens and believes to them so shell believe you.

I really hope you didn't cut. Just remember what you told me the other day because it really won't solve anything to cut

I hope you're okay sweetie, xxxx

Run said...

Good luck with therapy. I hope it goes, or went well. I am sure she'll believe you when you tell her what you want to tell her.

I hope you didn't cut though. It doesn't solve things. It's just one of those crappy temporary releases.

xx

Becky said...

Be honest. Even if your thoughts are all jumbled up and confused like they seem to be in this post, just spill. She can't do anything but help you, that's the truth.

And be honest about your actions too. If it's something you feel needs to be addressed for you to get better than just let her know. Therapists are honestly some of the least judgmental people you will ever come across.

-Becky

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