1.5

miles that is. I ran probably 1-1.2 miles of it so that's good. I did get a bit tired but I kept pushing on. :) I still feel like it wasn't enough but I was breathing so hard I didn't think I could keep going. I'm so out of shape. 0.o
Session was good today, not as intense as the past couple of sessions. My therapist wanted to take it easy on me, especially since I told her I was having urges in session last time. We still talked about some tough stuff. I revealed even more embarrassing things about me. I swear she probably thinks I'm a freak. I don't know..probably not really. I mean she's been very open and not judgmental so I'm sure she doesn't really care. I think she's just glad I'm being open and honest with her. This is the most in-depth I've gotten with any therapist I've ever seen. That is huge. She knows more about me than even my best friend and my best friend knows a lot. But it's a good thing. I'm making progress. I'm finding her assignments to be very hard. I'm very judgmental. That's hard to break. I've put so many labels on myself and so many judgments that I can't seem to get rid of. It's really not good. My assignment is back to my original assignment of writing a letter of apology to myself. She wants it to be understanding and forgiving (obviously). I don't think I can do it. It's not that I won't try. It's just that so far all my assignments turn out to not work ass planned. I go into emotion mind and judge myself. I was even judgmental in third person! I tried really hard not to be but I couldn't break it. =/ Hopefully I can make some improvements and push forward in the process of forgiving myself. It's going to be one hell of a hill mountain to climb.
Okay, enough therapy chat.
My day has been good so far other than the mentioned stuff.
I read 1.5 chapters for my intro class. :)
I've barely eaten anything (450 calories). =)
I do have some not so good news..my friend told me she's quitting therapy. I'm not thinking that's a good idea seeing as she's really unstable right now. I know one of the last times I tried quitting therapy I laid down in the middle of the street to try to kill myself. Not that she's going to do that but still. Just saying it's a really bad idea. I want to talk her out of it but she is 20 and can make her own decisions. Who am I to stop her? Does anyone have any advice for me on how to get her to continue therapy? I plan on telling her my own personal experiences but I don't know if that's enough. Probably not. She seems like she's made up her mind. I just want the best for her and this is definitely not what's best. =(
I just calculated how many calories I burned from running: 116. That is not very good. Maybe I'll work out again tonight. I'm in a fat mood right now. =( Seeing that I ate 450 calories now seems like so much when just a few minutes ago it felt so good. =( Poop.
Okay, this has been really long, one of the longest I've had in awhile, so I'll go now. Thanks for reading!