Day 1 of 2011

First let me talk about my New Year's Eve. I spent it with my family watching movies. No drinking or food (well some candy). Just good fun family time. We watched the ball drop in New York. My sister and I counted down the final seconds of 2010. Then it was WOOOOOO!!!!! lol. No really though. My sister was screaming her head off. We finished watching our movie and went to bed. It was a good night.
As for today, the first day of 2011, it's been kinda up and down. =/ I woke up at 8 am to go to the bathroom and couldn't go back to sleep. So what did I do? I got up and put in The Biggest Loser: Last Chance Workout. I couldn't do everything because I didn't have weights. I pretty much just did the cardio and not the strength training. I was so freaking dizzy and lightheaded. It was crazy. I don't think I even burned 100 calories. It was pathetic. I should do my dad's workout videos. His are called Insanity..literally. I tried doing one once but was so lightheaded I had to stop. It was pathetic. Am I just really out of shape or what? I don't understand why doing workout videos kills me. I do fine when it comes to bicycling or running (on an eliptical). Why can I not manage a simple workout video? Fat failure. No no. Enough of that. I'm supposed to be positive. Moving on..
I came upstairs and started looking at the pictures we had been looking at last night. I don't know why I wanted to trigger myself. I guess I just wanted to see myself before the eating disorders. I wanted to see pictures of myself just to see how skinny (more like fat) I was. It was disgusting to look at my body. Oh wait! I'm doing it again! UGH! Failing at my resolutions already I see. Anyways, then I got on my own computer and checked Facebook and Blogger and PT and all the other lovely sites I'm on. I drank my water trying to fill the void in my stomach. My mom wanted me to help prepare the dinner for tonight (roast beef-which I will not be eating). I was hungry so I went and looked at the calories on the cinnamon raisin bread she had bought at the store. 80 calories. Nice, simple, but still too much. I ate it and started to help with the carrots and potatoes. I was really no use so my dad had to come and help. I went about my day again on the computer. I felt gross. I felt disgusting. I wanted to scream and tear at my body. So I went downstairs and starting doing crunches, then the plank. I was so upset I wanted to cry..but I didn't. I came back upstairs and watched tv with my parents. I knew my grandparents were on the way to pick up my little sister and me. We were going to the movies. Tron was great! I loved it. It was a little confusing but good nonetheless. I ate some movie theatre popcorn. It was covered in butter. I'm going to say I ate 150 calories worth of popcorn. It was probably less than that but it is best to overestimate just in case.
So that has been my new year's day up until 5:20 pm. Don't know if I'll post later on as well but that's the start of my new year. Hope your day was great!