hmmm

First of all, thanks for all the comments. I really enjoy getting them. They make me feel better. They make me feel like someone actually cares about what I have to say. So thanks! =D

Second, sorry for not posting yesterday. I didn't get on the computer til around 7 pm and I was talking to my mom on facebook. I was also on PT so I was doing a lot of multi-tasking. I went to go exercise with my grandma on the Wii. We did her 15 minutes and burned a wooping 35 calories! Oh yes. I am totally on a roll. jk. Then I did another 30 minutes and burned 99 calories. So my calorie burning of the day SUCKED! Oh but the upside of yesterday was I didn't gain. I just stayed the same (110.8). I really wanted to binge again last night but was able to hold out. Woot! Go me!! lol jk. I was at the hospital for my grandpa yesterday for his spinal tap thing. That took forever! So I read Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi. I didn't finish it because I kept stopping every 20 pages or so. I also talked with my grandma and some other random ladies in the waiting room. Fun stuff. Yeah, I guess that was all for yesterday.

Today has started off badly. I gained. Now it wasn't a bad gain, just .2 pounds but that is not good! I am way behind schedule on losing this weight. I won't reach my goal by the end of the month. I feel like I should just give up. I'm sure I will do that once I fail at meeting my goal. Gah!!! I'm such a failure. I don't know why I'm always messing everything up. This is supposed to be my area of control. I'm supposed to be in charge of my eating disorder. But am I? NO! I am not losing, because I am gaining! dhfskjdhgksdhgk That's how I feel about this. Just so aggravated. I feel like screaming. I plan on fasting today but I'm off to a bad start. I'm already feeling hungry. Grrr. But, I've noticed that if I give myself some time, the hunger passes. So that is what I'll do. I will avoid the kitchen and distract myself. Sounds like a plan. The only flaw in my plan is dinner. My grandma will want me to eat dinner. >.< I will have to be strong and resist. I won't let her take control. I am in control. I will prove that I can do this. I want to lose this weight and I will lose this weight. (Yeah, so I'm being bipolar in this paragraph. Typical me.)
You shall hear more from me later. Until then my lovelies!