Friday, January 21, 2011

this is one of those times

when I need to say FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
So I'm sure you are all wondering what this is about. Let me tell you. My day did not start off well. I could barely get out of bed this morning. I was tired. When I weighed myself, I had.....gained 1 pound! I was like FUCK! I got dressed and went about my morning getting ready for school. I went to school and had dun in class. I even participated. =) My dad and I cleared up some financial aid issues. I bought my lab coat for my biology class. I'm excited for it. =)
After we left the college, dad said we were going to Taco Bell. I was like okay. I got a cheesy bean and rice burrito. That is 490 calories!! GAH!!! That was the start of the downfall of my day. I got home and rested for awhile. Then I got hungry. Well it wasn't necessarily hungry, it was more a hunger for food. I binged. I ate a granola bar, a Special K bar, fruit by the foot, cinnamon strussel cakes, peanut butter, dried fruit, and drank lots of soy milk. Wow. Talk about stupid. I had been about a week since binging and just decided to throw it all away. After today, I am fasting again. I am fasting until I can't fast anymore. I don't care how sick I get. I will lose the weight I gained from yesterday and today. Fuck being fat! I will be skinny.
~~~~~
On a more positive(?) note, I've been reading through some of my poetry from senior year (last year). Some of it is really good (if I may say so myself!). I might make a new page and post it on there. So if you want to read it, feel free. =)

6 words from my listeners:

NightFlower said...

Awh. I hope tomorrow goes better! I'm glad you're looking forward to biology though :) And I will definitely read your poetry! ;] Take care xxx

Kari said...

Definitely post some poetry, that would be awesome. Your binge foods sound a lot like mine (granola/cereal/nut butter/soy milk) always feature prominently.

Please be safe if you fast. Hospitals = not good.

Vampire said...

Be careful with your fasting <3 1lb can be burned off without fasting

Kristina said...

Be careful with fasting. I feel an hypocrite since I am fasting lol.

Tomorrow will be a better day :)And definitely post poetry. x

SilentNightmare said...

Be careful hun.... but that being said if you post some poetry I'll gladly read it :) and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you *hugs*

wintergirl said...

I know it's hard, but try not to feel horrible for bingeing - your body needs food and sometimes if you eat a bit then it can help you to lose weight as it gets your metabolism going again.
But anyway, I hope tomorrow is a better, happier day for you. And as for your poetry - I'd love to read it. :)
Stay safe sweet. *hugs*
xxx

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