Sunday, January 30, 2011


I don't want to do my homework so I'm going to type this post. I've been watching youtube videos for like 3 hours. I'm not really even watching anything worthwhile. I'm just clicking link after link after link. I've watched some dance videos, lyric videos, and even some pass out videos. I don't know why I watch those. I guess it's because I've played the pass out game before. Have any of you ever played it? If you haven't, don't try. It's really stupid and can actually cause a lot of damage or even possibly death. I've never been very good at doing it by myself. I'm tempted to try again though. I like the feeling of passing out. I can escape for a little bit. Passing out has got to be safer than drugs, right? Maybe? I don't know. At least it's a drug free high. I'm not really one for getting high. One of my overdoses made me high as a kite. It was crazy. I couldn't stand so I had to crawl to the bathroom. When I was laying flat on my back on my bed, the room was spinning and tilting at the same time. I was just so fucking out of it. I had to tell my mom I got sick in the middle of the night because I couldn't afford to go to school high. That was actually when I went to a Christian school. 0.o I've never really been big on religion so it is a big shocker that I went there. I was really bad at that school. I tried to slit my wrists in the school bathroom. Let's just say I was the talk of the school. I was already an outcast. I'm surprised they didn't kick me out. I guess it's just because I was emotionally challenged but only towards myself. Hell, I don't know. I didn't like that stupid school anyways. Stupid religion. I fucking hate God. (Sorry to all of those who love him.)
Wow. Look at how many topics I jumped around to in less than 10 minutes. That's fucking crazy. Talking about school and drugs and overdosing and passing out. Wow. This all sounds so positive. NOT. At least I'm doing a good job at putting off my homework. I know I need to work it on it like now but I just don't want to. I feel lazy. I am lazy. I haven't done anything productive this week. Don't know why I'm going to start now. I also kind of feel like it's pointless to do my homework. I'm going to kill myself in about 2 weeks so why all the fuss now? I guess I should just go through the motions just in case my lucky ass survives. I'm pretty sure I'll die from a gun shot wound though. I just don't see how I can be so god damn lucky all the time. I'm fucking invincible! Where the hell are my cape and superpowers? *eye roll* Yeah, so this has been a useless post. If you read it, then thanks. Sorry you had to read through my insanity.

1 words from my listeners:

NightFlower said...

Awh. :[
I don't know what to say. We're here for you though.
Ha. I know the feeling of putting of homework. :/
Take care xxx

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