Sunday, April 17, 2011

monkeys!

Nope, just kidding. There will be no monkeys in this post. Only shit that's bananas. I wish I could say I was just kidding again, but I'm not. These thoughts I'm having are bananas. They are crazy. cut fat slut. bleed. you deserve it. you deserve to be punished. it'll feel good. cut. CUT. you know you want to. who cares if it's been a month? you can always make it that long again. attention whore. just cut. one time won't hurt. you need it. you knew you weren't really doing that good. you were just pretending. you are weak for having these thoughts. you are weak for having these urges. go cut yourself freak. you aren't strong. you are nothing. you are pathetic. you can't fight it. you are weak weak weak weak WEAK. you can't do this. just give in. it'll be just like old times. you know it'll make it all go away. you know it won't leave you alone til you give in. just give in. just one little cut won't mess anything up. better change out of your white shirt. wouldn't want to spill your precious blood on it. cut cut cut cut CUT. do it. DO IT! Shit.

4 words from my listeners:

f*ckedUpAppendix said...

you're not weak
you certainly are not pathetic.
you are not fat
nor are you a slut.

you are beautiful and it fucking sucks that you cannot see what I see in you- which is someone who is amazingly strong and capable of so much goodness. (goodness? lolwut. you know what I mean, I hope)

I hope you are able to not cut, but, if you do end up hurting yourself, please don't see this as you going back to where you were before. You are doing so so well. Setbacks are expected.

I'll say this again, just because I know it'll take a gazillion times before you even begin to see it too- you are beautiful. You are strong.

xxx

Mademoiselle said...

Don't do it. Don't do it. Stay strong! I BELIEVE IN YOU! You can do it. You can do it! I'll be here for you whenever you need to talk. Don't do it. Be strong, I know you can be strong. It's been a month, you can make it longer. The first days are the harder. Beat it girl. BEAT IT. Don't let it control you. You are much better than that. Breathe, take your mind off it, call a friend. Just DON'T do it.

Lot's of love and encouragement!

xx

f*ckedUpAppendix said...

Also, please please excuse me if you have already recieved one (it's expected- you're amazing ;]) but, I'd like to award you with the versatile blogger award. although I, myself, have not completed it yet. just throwing it out there, xXx.

SilentNightmare said...

Really hope you were able to resist the urge to cut hun. You really need to start challenging these thoughts, you are an amazing person and the sooner you realize that the better *hugs*. You are not an attention whore either just so you know *hugs*

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