get me out of here

My massage went well yesterday. I felt nice and relaxed. :) I felt horrified though by my fat and period. I'm sure she thought I was gross.
My mom, little sister, and I went to Borders and bought books. I bought one on borderline personality disorder (Get Me Out Of Here) and one on eating disorders. I forget what it's called and I'm too lazy to go get it.
Later that night, I binged on candy and popcorn while watching movies with my sister.
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I got my haircut. It feels too short.
I went to my cousin's birthday party. Really it was for the adults to watch the KU game. We lost 71-61. Booooo!!!
I did my homework.
I started reading my new book.
I ate too much today. I ate too much yesterday. I am fat. too fat.
I see my therapist tomorrow. I don't want to go. I've gained weight. What if she notices? She'll think I'm fat. I am fat. fat fat fat. I don't want help. I don't deserve help. fat disgusting monster. I want to die. I deserve to die. send me to hell. i deserve to rot forever. die.