Monday, March 7, 2011


This morning started off not so great. I didn't wake up until 7:50. I leave (preferably before) around 8:15. So I'm rushing around. I weigh myself. 107.6 on the WW scale. That's not as bad as I thought it would be. Still not good though. I eat a Special K bar for breakfast, then off I go to school. I'm so tired in school I can barely concentrate on the topic. I do okay though. I get through my morning classes. Time to for lunch/down time. I eat PB&J on one piece of bread with some Flaming Hot Cheetohs (yeah, real healthy..I know...). I drink some soy milk. I'm cold. I've been cold a lot lately. I went to my room and laid down. I guess I fell asleep for a little bit because my grandma came in to wake me up. I was almost late for my appointment with my therapist. Thankfully I wasn't. (I'm always paranoid I will be. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I just want to be early to everything.) The session goes well. We talk about my massage. I told her my fat bothered me more than my past. That's pretty f-cking pathetic. We talked about my dad a little bit and our relationship. I don't even know where it is. I guess we've moved past last week. Who knows? We talked about Renew and my feelings of I'm too fat for recovery. We also talked about how I feel I'm a monster because of all my bad thoughts/actions and how I hurt people. She tried to make me believe that everyone deserves happiness. I told her I didn't. Yes, everyone else does, but not me. She said I must be pretty special then. (I told this to my friend once outside of session and my friend said "haha but you are pretty freaking special!") Lastly, we talked about my appointment with my psychiatrist that was following hers. She was trying to get me to be positive about it since my last 3 appointments with my doctor have all gone horribly wrong. So anyways, I went to my appointment and it went (drum roll please.....) really well. I didn't cry, scream, or get violent. We talked like civilized human beings. We both "behaved". I'm proud of myself for keeping it together. I did good. The rest of my day was spent shopping for groceries and reading my biology book. I ate dinner. That was leftover tuna casserole. I had some candy (I really need to get out of that habit!! >.<) for dessert. I also made some raspberry tea. It was diet so it only has 5 calories instead of the 80 the regular has. 0.o Okay, well it's getting late, I have to wake up early tomorrow, and I'm tired. I didn't get a chance to read anyone's blogs but I will hopefully tomorrow. Night loves!

2 words from my listeners:

Kari said...

I'm really proud of you for getting through your psych appointment well; I think you're right to be proud of yourself. Sleep well and I hope you're able to feel rested tomorrow.

Glitch said...

Good job with the appointment! :) Be happya nd smile! <3 That's really wonderful. <3

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