Tuesday, March 22, 2011

my reunion

did not happen yesterday. No, I had to stay the night at my sister's house again. So now it really has been a week and a half without my own scale. Fucking monkeys! I know I will be disappointed with the number though. I know I've gained. When I first weighed on my parents scale I was 106.4. This morning I weighed 109.4. It's like h-o-l-y s-h-i-t. There is no way you can deny that I am a fat ass. I've gained at least 3 pounds according to their scale. I don't even want to see the real damage. The problem is I can already see the damage. My stomach is bigger. My bones don't show as much. I'm getting fat fat fat. I also realized that I increased my Abilify around the time I switched over to stay with my sister/parents. Abilify causes weight gain. It's like shit shit shit shit shit. I will not let it make me blow up. I will work against it. I will not get any fatter. I can't deal with gaining anymore weight. I'm already stressed enough as it is. Then to make matters worse, my parents bought me binge food!! It's like why the FUCK would you do that?!! So now I have Twinkies and Ho Hos and Hostess cupcakes and chocolate fudge Pop-tarts and Ramen Noodles and Flaming Hot Cheetohs. fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!! It's obvious that they want me to be fat. My mom keeps telling me if I just eat healthy, then I'll feel better. That's not true and it's like how the hell am I supposed to eat healthy with all the fucking food you just bought me?! Grrr! (>.<)
So I really wasn't planning on making this long. I guess I just had a lot to say. I'll probably post again tonight. Until then..

2 words from my listeners:

Mrs. Donae said...

I'm sorry about your situation hun...I'm pretty much in the same :/ I hope things get better doll!

Marley said...

109 is TINY! how tall are you?

Twinkies are pure evil; everytime they're available to me I legit death-glare at them until I start getting funny looks. I'm weird lawl.

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