Thursday, March 24, 2011

what on earth

am I doing up this late on a school night?? It's 10:20 pm and I should be asleep or at least trying to fall asleep. No, instead I am on blogger catching up on everyone's blogs and typing my own post. I'm so silly. I just felt it wouldn't be fair to leave you guys with two days of no posts. Not that I'm so important that you couldn't live two days without me..
Anyways, I didn't end up presenting yesterday. Only two people went. Both presentations were very interesting. I have a test in that class tomorrow. It took me two hours to read the chapter tonight. I swear the print is like 8 font!
I saw my therapist yesterday. That did not go well at all. I told her I was quitting therapy after she told me I had to come to Monday's group. I told her I did not want help. I told her DBT doesn't do shit for me. She called my dad up so he could have his say. Then he sent me out of the room so they could talk. I have to go back on Monday to tell her whether or not I'm quitting therapy. BUT even though I am 18 and I have the legal right to do so, I can't quit therapy! My mom said insurance won't pay for my meds if I don't see a therapist. It's like KJSDHFGOISHDGHSKLDGJVKJHEOIGTNVJKUAEOTGBN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It pisses me the fuck off. (>_<) Why do I not have a fucking say in my life? fucking monekys!!
Today was a up down day. I got to sleep in til 9 since today is my late start day. Then my grandma and I actually left on time. I got to school way early (which I like to be) and wrote two poems. I will probably remake a poetry page so be on the lookout for that!
I had a math test today. I felt so fucking stupid that I cried. This is the second test I've done that on. weak failure stupid pathetic I have to get a good grade on that test because I only have 4 grades in that class. Each one is a 100 point test. I have to do well on it! =(
Food today was a fail. I ate Taco Bell and two servings of chicken alfredo with vegetables. It was good but very bad. I finally discovered my true weight. I won't post it til Saturday though. Hopefully I will have dropped a little more weight by then. I must say I am very glad that I wasn't back to 110. I was very worried. I still was way too high. I was at the weight I was at the start of the month. I would have been so mad if was above it.
I haven't started my period yet. It's been a full month. Usually I'm a few days early. Last month however, I was a few days late. So idk.
In positive friend's sister had her baby!! Little Ryleigh. She is so precious! Babies are cute when they aren't yours.
Okay, well its almost 10:35 and I need to go to bed so good night!

1 words from my listeners:

heiscertainlyworthit said...

I hope your test goes well. And try and stick with the recovery. I'm sure your body will get used to a certain amount of food and that amount will maintain your current weight as it is. Just don't vary your intake from large amounts to small amounts - I'm sure that this is how it works.

Perhaps you should go to the Doctor's if you don't come on your period next month either. They may put you on the Contraceptive Pill (if you have that in the US), and that will regulate you. But, ask for the one that doesn't give you weight gain, for obvious reasons!

To be honest, my mum never had a period for years after her ED, and she still managed to conceive me. So, there's hope for us all. I'm hoping I'll be the same, because I haven't had a period in 18 months.

Anyway, I need to do some work, I thought I'd just check up on you ;L xx

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