Sunday, December 19, 2010

='(

Today was a very rough day. I broke down crying so many times that I lost track. Pathetic, huh? I'm just extremely hormonal thanks to my period. (fat failure!) Then I found out that my best friend is back in a long-term hospital. She's been there for about 3 weeks. Before then she was in a short term hospital. She went in on October 28. It's my fault. I know it's my fault. Sure you'll all say it's not, but I know, I know it is. Here's why. Just a few weeks before her latest hospitalization, she was in the hospital for a suicide attempt. When she got out, I freaked out. I was fighting with her every time we talked. I was just so angry for so many reasons. On the 26th of October, we got into another fight. Then I just stopped talking to her. I feel horrible. I've been thinking of her a lot lately and then today my mom breaks the news. I feel like shit. I just don't want to do this anymore. Fucking depressed as hell. Suicidal thoughts increasing.
Enough of that. Today I saw Yogi Bear with my family. I thought it looked stupid at first but the movie was actually rather good. There was no Cindy bear though. Also the ranger's name wasn't Ralph. 0.o
Other than that, I just don't know. Today was crap. Maybe tomorrow will be better. One day closer to Christmas!

5 words from my listeners:

Kari said...

You're right. We ARE going to tell you it's not your fault. If you were hospitalized would you want your friends blaming themselves? Well, either way, everyone has their ish, and it's not your fault.
I hope tomorrow's better too.

SM said...

I hope today is going to be a lovely day for you<3
you deserve happiness.

x

Elisabethgrace said...

It is NOT your fault!
Hope things start to settle down for you soon!
Take care.
x

prettydesperate said...

it's not your fault - I believe that others are always 100% responsible for their own actions. We've all had times where we've done things we regret but that's life, unfortunately.
I'm sorry you had such a bad day - I really hope today is better <3

*Broken* said...

I´m sorry about your friend but it isn´´t your fault, she did it to herself sweetie. I felt really guilty wwhen my friend was in the hospital too but now I realize I couldn´t have done nothing.
Tomorrow WILL be better =)
xx

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