Monday, December 20, 2010

not any better

It's a little after 6 pm and I am feeling progressively worse today. The day didn't start out bad. It didn't start out good either. It was just ok. I just played on the computer and ate brunch. Nothing exciting. Nothing to get worked up over. Then the darkness started creeping in. I had to go to my grandma's house to pick up the rest of my stuff since I'm staying with my sister now. On the way home, my dad and I were talking. I kept getting all upset. Then I got home and got even more upset. I just want to fucking cut or die or purge. I want to do something bad. I want to hurt outside. I don't want this pain on the inside. GET IT OUT!! I feel like I'm dying inside. I feel trapped, suffocated. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs but no sound comes out. I'm trying to be good, honest I am, but it is just so damn HARD. I'm tired of the fighting. I want to escape. I can't wait to take those fucking pills. But not yet, not yet.

1 words from my listeners:

Anonymous said...

Hello girls I was playing around with my blogger settings and I have accidentally deleted my whole blogging account and have had to create a new one!! If you could please support me and follow my journey and I will happily follow yours!!

You can expect to see my daily intake, exercise, Thinspiration and a lot more =)

Thank you girls

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

Bree =)

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