Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Thanks for the comments guys. It means a lot to see that people care. I mean I know that people care in "real" life too but it's nice when someone I don't even know wants me to live and be happy. Just makes me feel good.
So, I'm totally supposed to be writing my research paper on a mental disorder right now for my psych final. Guess what disorder I'm doing...ED-NOS!! Yay ED-NOS!! jk. But really that is what I'm doing it on. I found some really interesting information on it. If you guys would like to read my paper (doubt it but just putting it out there) let me know and I'll send you a copy. :)
Ok. My day was not the greatest but it wasn't the worst either. I'm in a better mood than I was in the other day. Downside to today, I ate and ate and ATE!! No seriously, I did. I literally ate 3 full size candy bars in 5 minutes. I wasted $3 on vending machines. I just kept shoving the candy down my throat like a fucking fat pig. It was at school too! I was binging at school!! Very uncool. The rest of the day (eating wise) just went downhill after that. I ate a salad and bean dip with chips. I had a slice and a half of lemon cake. I had Kit-Kats and gummy bears. Yeah. So today was a total BINGE day. No food tomorrow sounds like a great plan. Yeah right. My grandma would never let me get away with that. You know what, I don't care. I don't have to eat. If eating is going to make me upset, then I'm not going to do it. Obviously I lack self-control when it comes to eating so the best thing to do is just not eat! There, problem solved.
Yesterday was good. Well the morning wasn't so good because I had to see my psychiatrist and he really pissed me off. I screamed at him but I feel I had the right to. He told me I wasn't doing anything to help myself with my depression. I seriously looked at him like he was speaking kjehrfahdfk. I started screaming about how I do everything I can to not feel this way. I try to make my life better by getting up and going to school. I go places with my family. I socialize sometimes. I just felt that he had absolutely no right to say what he did. I don't know. Maybe he did but I really just wanted to tell him to fuck off. What an ass.
On to later that day...
I went to the library to meet up with some girls from my psych class to review for the final that is on Thursday (12/9). We did a lot of work but we took breaks too. We definitely had some R-rated humor. It was funny though. We even used a dry-erase board. How legit is that?! I don't know, but it was very cool. Then on our lunch run, I got a text from my mom. She got a job down here where I live!!! Yay for mommy moving home!! WOOT WOOT!! lmao =D But I'm seriously happy about it. :)
That's about all I suppose. I'll try to post tomorrow but I might not since I have to finish my paper and study for my final. So who knows? Maybe you'll see me, maybe you won't. Night!

1 words from my listeners:

*Broken* said...

That´s great about your mom!!!
Therapysts can be very hard sometimes, but they try to help us, even if their approch isn´t so good...
We all have binge days, try not to worry to much about it

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