Tuesday, June 21, 2011

i just don't know

I'm not sure what I'm doing right now with recovery. I ate my two meals today for my recovery goal. Will I tomorrow is the question. I just want to get sick, be sick. I want this illness to engulf me. I want to prove to myself that I am sick. 98 is sick. I just want to be 98. 98 means the hospital. Is it worth it? Yes. No? I don't know. I need some time, time to think, time to figure out what on earth I'm doing with my life. I may or may not post. I just don't know right now. I'm sorry.

4 words from my listeners:

Nikki said...

im sorry to hear that you still have all of these conflicing thoughts going on hun! i hope you figure things out for yourself.

if you need anythingggggggg at all or want to talk you kno where to find me!

<3 <3

Elle Marie said...

dont be sorry! you arent doing anything wrong by taking some time for yourself to figure things out. i hope everything works out, and if you need anyone i'll be here!

Princess Perfection said...

Just take some time out for yourself, love.
Figure out what it is you want, and figure out how you want to get there.
You only get one life, and you are in control of it, so you should live it the way that you want to.
I hope that things get better for you.
Hang in there. <3

Tiffany Tilly said...

Oh hun it's going to be ok. I know this is hard but it's worth it, the longer you fight it, the longer you have to deal with it. You're going to have to deal with recovery sooner or later, at this weight now or below 100 in a medical setting which is probably really scary. You need some time to think, you'll figure out the best thing to do. Good luck and you are worth a happy life without this pain and struggle.

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