Thursday, June 16, 2011

enough

jumping jacks, planks, banana boats, wall sits.
That's not enough, is it?
No, it's never enough.
I'm never enough.
NEVER
-good
-pretty
-thin
-worthy
-smart
-helpful
-strong
ENOUGH.
Want to stop.
Want to give in.
Want to DIE.
Don't want to
-live
-breathe
-fight
-eat
.
When will it end?
It has to end.
Why won't it end?
I can't do this.
I am too weak.
and
It is too strong.
There is no "it".
There is only me.
I'm not disordered..
merely crazy.
alone.
scared.
confused.
CAN
NOTDO
THIS.
Pills are tempting.
Just a couple would help.
Just a couple would take the pain away.
Just a couple.
Just the whole bottle.
Don't want to fight.
Tired of fighting.
Give in?
Yes, please.

4 words from my listeners:

Nikki said...

first things first... no pills.

second, you ARE enough. its just hard for you to see right now cause theres some other shit getting in the way. but that wont always be there... youll see it soon <3 <3

and you ARE strong. think about it... you're still here fighting this... yeah right now may not be the best day... but we all hit bumps every once in a while... straight lines are boring, no one learns anything from a straight line.

and you're not alone.


hope tomorrow is better

xox

CAliChica said...

hun ik wat ur feeling trust me it will be worth the fight, in the end . Stay strong xoxo

Princess Perfection said...

Oh, hun.
*hugs*
I know what you are feeling, all too well.
But trust me, the pills?
They are not worth it.
You are stronger than that.
And you are more than enough!
I know it is hard to see, but you are a wonderful, strong, intelligent, beautiful person with SO MUCH to offer this world.
Do not waste your potential.
We are all here for you.
*hugs*
Hang in there. <3

Lissy said...

You are strong you can do it you better stay safe, no pills- NONE. Last time I said "just a few" turned into being in hospital by the weekend. Stay safe. Love you xx

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