Saturday, November 13, 2010


That is how I feel. I feel like pure shit. I want to eat but I won't. I want to purge but I can't. I want to cut but I'm trying not to. I just feel like SHIT. It all started when I went to go exercise. Everything just went downhill from there. I was clawing at my legs and digging my fingernails into my skin. I just don't know what to do. I feel so fat and worthless. I feel weak and disgusting. I feel pathetic and ugly. I feel like a failure. I'm just a negative little person right now. Yeah, I take that back. I'm not little. I'm freaking HUGE. I feel like I'll never be skinny. I feel like I'll always be fat. Why can't I just wave a magic wand and make everything disappear? I want to disappear. I just wish I didn't have to deal with this. I'm miserable. Will I change? No. I'm undeserving. I need to be punished. I am stupid and worthless. I need to prove to people why I should be loved. I need to prove that I am skinny. I need to prove to myself that I can do this. I'm just so confused. Everything's a blur. Someone take this away. Take me away.


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