Sunday, November 7, 2010

Holy SH!T!

I am not doing well this weekend. I've been on a 5 day binge. Today wasn't horrible but I still ate more than I wanted to. To top off my 6 pound weight gain, I cut. I haven't cut in almost 3 months and today I just decided to say "fuck it" and cut. It really wasn't that simple. I got set off by a food comment made by my great grandma (on my dad's side) about my grandma (on my mom's side). I wasn't planning on cutting. It was when my dad's mom and dad came in to see what was wrong that things went downhill. My dad and grandma invalidated (therapy words 0.o) my feelings so I got really upset and just kinda lost it. I got out a blade from my secret stash and 1-2-3, it was done. So yes, total fail. My mom is quitting her job to move down here with the rest of us. It's just some crazy shit. I can't deal with this. But it doesn't matter. I'm going fast with my pal and I will regain control. I will be strong. I won't be weak. Watch out comes the B!TCH!

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